In different circumstances, I might take him on for a month. No sexy wants horny sex way with the grandchildren (~9 month old the other, 4 yrs old next month) living here every other week. Even harder working on my Masters, and staying on the honor roll. And good point, I have no way of knowing whether the distant relatives come through, or how he plans to manage that move. Might I find myself saying no again? No, I can't rent a UHaul, and no, I can't move you your stuff to DesMoines? The family dynamics are taxing; it takes conscious effort to manage stress levels. I've much got all burners going at once. don't wanna burn anything. I'm not a "just say no," hard-ass sort of woman. But, sheesh, to blow off court? That makes about as much sense as blowing off finals and then asking the profs to change my grades. All I can think of is that he probably got wasted instead of going to court, but again, THAT was a decision, and consequences followed. It takes a lot for me to ask for help. I'm learning that it also takes a lot to say no. I'm not sure which sucks more.