in two different places mental and physiy. If you begin with the concept that your a Lesbian married too a trapped in some way because you have then you are never going to really be happy. If you want a happy sexual partnership with your husband then you need to have exactly that a partnership. You need to communicate your needs and fantasy's and turn it into something you share and discover together. Take the energy you spend into and all the internet chatting you spend lamenting the problem and put into making it better and sharing time and enjoying each other again. But first really decide if you actually want to be married.